I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She's JV to your varsity
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
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I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
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Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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