I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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