how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Four minutes until I can fart!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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