I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize