I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
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It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
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You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
soo... how was my night?
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