Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
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In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
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I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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