whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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