She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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