He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It's rum buckets o'clock
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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