I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
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We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
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You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize