Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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