Why are handjobs necessary in class?
only if we run a train.
done.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
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On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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