They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize