Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize