doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
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The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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