Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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