Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize