How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize