I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize