last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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