Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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