Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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