I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize