At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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