I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
you told grandpa to call you daddy
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize