i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
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You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
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You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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