I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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