i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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