Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
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