i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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