thus making me awesome and them whores
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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