on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
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No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
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No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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