As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize