Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize