How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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