last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
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If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
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Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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