I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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