The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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