put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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