I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
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I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
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They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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