that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
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I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
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HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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