So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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