Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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