I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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