So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize