Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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