I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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