I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize