I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
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I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
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Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize