put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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